In the whirlwind

It's crazy. Crazy how used to death I am, that I'm hardly affected at all by Nathans death. There was a time when Nathan was like my brother. He was Chris' best friend, and they were hardly found apart. That's not what upsets me. Nathan and I didn't have a real solid relationship in a year or two. It's sad that he died. He just had a daughter, and he had a wife. He was just at our house cleaning our carpet. So, yes, I feel a small portion of pain for that part of it.
The thing that really eats me, that really brings down the tears, is the fact that Nathan was one of Christopher's best friends, and Chris won't even know Nathan died until Friday or Saturday. Three to four days later. Because Chris is in jail.
Another thing that bothers me is this is the fourth person that has been close to home that has died in less then a year. Zack died in early August last year, closely followed by my father who died in early October, and my uncle who died in early November. Now Nathan...who died in early May.
And Christopher. Christopher who lost his girlfriend in a car accident in 2004. Then our dad and our uncle. Now he's in jail and while he's been in there his girlfriend broke up with him and his best friend died. And he can do nothing about it. He doesn't even get to know before the funeral.
That's what really pulls the heart out of my chest and serves it to me in a million pieces.