Adelaides Adventures: Ahoy Mate

     Though I have made some of these a string of Facebook posts, I've decided a blog may be more appropriate. My Facebook posts may seem a little less crazy if you know a little about the origin of this story.
    When I was about 12 or so my mom began homeschooling me and my 2 younger sibs (the older 2 having already had their fill of school and leaving it behind all together. My mother, the creative artistic being that she is, decided she would write a play and the characters would have some reflection of a characteristic from each 5 of us kiddos. I dont believe the play was ever finished but my mom and I have enjoyed playing off the story from time to time.
     The first three characters in this incomplete play were created to reflect my oldest sisters undeniable bossy tendencies (she's the oldest, it comes with the territory), my older brothers "macho maness syndrome" (though he's really a softy), and my odd, random and humorous obsession with imaginary chickens (I did eventually grow out of that). That leaves 2 characters in the making.
      Here is my spin on Serenity Jones original play...please note I have express permission  from Serenity Jones to turn her play into a story. She may even contribute more of her brilliance through out this little story.


       I am Adelaide Renae...chicken farmer of an isolated island ran by a queen who insists I answer my shell phone at every ring and who's chickens have recently been threatened by a sea sailing pirate who has happened upon my island.
    "Ahoy!" I said to this mangy traveler. I am on orders from my queen to intercept travelers and ensure they do not bother her unless absolutely necessary. There is never a necessary reason to bother Your Royal Highness. "Aye, Cap'n Critter it is." Was he eyeing my precious chickens? "Cap'n is it? And what is it you're a Cap'n of?" I shoo-ed my clucking friends behind me as discreetly as possible. "Well a Cap'n of a ship o' course. The frightening Pirate of the seas, Cap'n Critter. Why aren't you trembling in your boots? Aye. It's been a long trip and those chickens are perfect for a camp fire roast." He smacked his lips and rubbed his hands together as his eyes went from chicken to chicken. "I have never heard of a frightening pirate named Critter. And quite frankly you don't frighten me at all. And also Cap'n my flamingos do not like to be called chickens." My chickens clucked out their most flamingo-ey clucks, none of which sounded flamingo-ey in the slightest. Cap'n Critter gave me a look of suspicion. "Not chickens you say? Well poppet they surely look like a chicken to me, now don't they? Tell me what is it that makes these very chicken-y flamingos not chicken." "Cap'n Critter I am insulted you would compare my rare flock of miniature flamingos to such a common bird as a chicken. How absurd. How much rum have you had Cap'n?" "Not nearly enough poppet but there's plenty more of that. Its chicken i'm on the hunt for now aint it. Say poppet your miniature flamingos look a little pale." "Well don't you know anything at all about a flamingo? All pink flamingos are white after a bath Cap'n. Now if you please it is past the flamingos nap time. These birds are on a strict routine Cap'n." "Aye poppet, you haven't seen the last of me. If I don't find a chicken soon, it'll be your flamingos im after, it will. There'll be plenty of time for you to find me frightening then." The Cap'n gave quite an effort at a menacing laugh that was not menacing at all.
      I Adelaide, the ever sly chicken farmer that I am, have convinced said Pirate that my chickens are in fact pink flamingos that have just had a bath, which explains their absence of color. Adelaide: 1; Pirate: 0. Well now the Pirate has moved along on a hopeless mission for chicken (mine is the only flock as they were specifically ordered for the queens gourmet meal, and the queen has demanded I be the only chicken farmer on the island.) The chickens are emotionally exhausted from their traumatic morning. Not to mention their efforts at flamingo acting. None of us are the least bit thrilled when the shell phones begins shrieking. ""ADELAIDE!" The chickens stare at the shell phone with terrified eyes. They are all expecting the call when the queen has decided what chicken entree she shall explore. I dutifully pick up the shell phone. "Your highness". "Adelaide. I noticed you have a league of chickens following around. I do hope those will not end up on my dinner plate. You know I do not eat chicken. Be sure to have the chef know the only meat I eat is the freshest sea food."