This is exhausting

I'm so exhausted.
My heart is exhausted.
My brain is exhausted.
My body is exhausted.

I can't get it together. Work makes me want to pull my hair out. I can't focus. I can't get to a place where I feel "on top of it". I feel overwhelmed and I feel incapable of following through with all the tasks i've been assigned. 

When i'm at home, I can't get motivated enough to do everything I used to do. It takes 10 minutes to load the dishwasher but it seems like such a big task. Vacuuming and dusting and laundry and dinner and sweeping and mopping and making the bed and wiping the counters and cleaning the bathroom...all easy tasks that I never had a problem with. Now, the thought of trying to accomplish those things knocks me on my ass before I even start. 

I'm tired! I just want to feel level again. I just want to feel ok again. I need some security and I need some peace. I need my life back. Walking around in this haze just isn't gonna cut it. There's gotta be more to it. 

I just can't seem to place myself in reality. Everything is foggy. I feel like i'm just waiting for my real life to start. Which is sad, because I made that same statement approximately 2 years ago. And I am more or less where I was 2 years ago. 

What is wrong with me that I can't make the life changes that are very obviously necessary in order for my current situation to improve?

I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing me vent. I'm sure everyone rolls their eyes at me these days and they probably just want to strangle me because I don't do what I say I want to do. I complain about the same things over and over, and yet I am not willing to change those things.

So what is wrong with me?! This is so ridiculous!!! I want to go to sleep and wake up to a changed life. 

Only it's not that easy. Nothing appears to be easy for me :/.